When I was a teenager, I shopped because it was something fun to do with my friends. A couple of us would walk to the mall in our town and spend the afternoon. There were lots of teenagers, older folks, families there doing the same thing. Look in any travel brochure. Shopping is one of the prominent categories. Shopping is mental and emotional stimulation. It is fun to see pretty things, get ideas for what you would like, use your imagination, dream, start conversations with the people you are with…. (Don’t think I am only talking about women here, guys. My husband likes to “haunt” car lots, tractor and boat shops, and motor cycle stores. Same entertainment – different products.)

People sometimes shop because they are bored, depressed, or have a need for social contact. That’s OK as long as they don’t actually buy anything. “Window shopping” can be a happy and energizing experience. On the other hand, if you buy something to make yourself feel better (a “pick-me-up” experience) it will probably be unsatisfying in the end. The thing you buy doesn’t mean anything to you in itself. It is only a way of temporarily adjusting your mental frame of mind. When your mood changes, you are likely to lose interest in it, perhaps wonder why you bought it in the first place, or maybe wish you had your money again. It’s called impulse buying and it’s usually a destructive thing, because you are spending money frivolously that you could be using in a more satisfying way. Let’s take a closer look at this concept.

I know people who feel so poor that as soon as they get their check at the beginning of the month, they run over to _______ and buy a big cart of stuff, much of which they don’t need. As the month goes on, they think of things they need or want more, which they can’t afford because their money was mostly spent on that first big shopping trip, so they bring a bunch of it back and buy more food and other necessities and just a few treats. By mid-month, they are wishing for pay day because they are already out of money again. They feel desperate enough that when they get paid, they go on a spree all over again. In the summer, they have a yard sale, selling off any of the cheap junk that hasn’t already broken to help them get through that month. This pattern is an attempt to put a temporary fix on a long-term problem. They really don’t have very much money. That’s a real problem. Shopping on payday and getting lots and lots of stuff helps them forget, for a few hours, that they don’t have much money. They feel rich! What a great feeling! (All this is documented shopping psychology, by the way.) But when they get home, they bring it all in and eat the edible treats. They look at their nice new stuff. They look at their mostly empty wallets, and they feel poor. There is a better way.

If you don’t want a short high followed by a long bout of “buyer’s remorse” (both very real things – The bigger the purchase, the bigger the high (yes, a real chemical high created in the brain – that’s why some people really are addicted to shopping and spending) and the bigger the crash.), try this two-fold solution.

1. Use a budget. A budget will help you remember all your needs and obligations for the pay period and beyond. Use it to not allow yourself to do unreasonable things with your money that will make you feel terrible afterward. Budget yourself some money to just blow for the fun of it. Make it something that you can afford and will give satisfaction, not depression!
2. Always ask yourself questions, like: Why do I want this? Do I need it? Will something else do just as well? Do I need this much of it? Where will I put it? Will it go with other things I have? Do I really like it enough to buy it? Is it worth the money? And my favorite: Could I just do without it? Ask yourself the same question in several different forms. Make sure you are buying the thing because you really and truly want and/or need it, not for some emotional reason. If your decision is based on emotions, you will not get the satisfaction from it that you expect.

Here are a few strategies you can use to see if an item will truly satisfy.

1. Carry it around in the store with you for a while you shop. Look at it. Think about it. You will find your feelings clarify about it one way or the other as you go. If they don’t, put it back and leave the store. How did that make you feel? Was it easy or was it hard? Are you worried someone else will get it or don’t you care that much? Is your mind letting go of it and going on to other things or can’t you stop thinking about it? This should bring you some clarity. Understand yourself, give yourself time, and you will be more pleased with the decisions you make.
2. Think about your paycheck. What do you get paid an hour? Let’s take an example of $10.00/hour. Next time you lay down $10 for a meal, think “I just gave an hour of my life for that lunch.” Was it worth it? Next time you go to the store and buy something for your own pleasure – a game, a book, a video, a decoration…think, “Would I go to my workplace and work an hour so I could have this?” If you would gladly do so, buy it. If the answer is “no” or “not sure”, put it back. It is not all that important to you and won’t bring you the level of satisfaction you are hoping for.
3. Think about how nice it will be to have the money for something else. Money is power to buy things. More money, more power. Less money, less power. When you shop, you are trading buying power (bought with your labor) for an item (or service). Think about which you’d rather have. How many times have you bought something and later seen something else you liked even more? Try to shop so that you have no regrets. Only buy what you feel you can’t live without. Keep your cash for those really special occasions. It feels good just to have money. Make that feeling last. You won’t regret it.